Why your baby can’t keep a dummy in: an early clue about tongue‑tie, tension or reflux.
What’s normal for the sucking reflex?
The sucking reflex develops in late pregnancy (around 32–36 weeks), so term babies usually arrive with a basic suck in place, while late preterm babies often have a weaker or less coordinated suck at first.
In the first months, sucking is largely reflexive and then gradually becomes more voluntary between about 2–4 months, so “dropping” the dummy is very common while baby is still learning to organise tongue, lips and jaw together. If a baby is otherwise feeding and growing well, frequently losing the dummy in the first 8–12 weeks can be within normal developmental variation, especially when tired, overstimulated or premature.
Why your baby can’t hold a dummy
Several functional and structural factors can make it hard to keep a dummy in, even when the sucking reflex is present.
Oral restrictions (tongue‑tie or lip‑tie) can limit tongue elevation, cupping and forward–back motion, so baby “clamps” with their lips or jaw instead of creating a deep seal, making the dummy pop out easily.
Fascial tension and birth strain (for example from a long, fast, assisted or caesarean birth) can create tightness through the jaw, neck and upper chest, affecting how easily baby can open wide, turn the head and coordinate breathing with sucking.
Immature or disorganised oromotor control means baby may have difficulty sequencing suck–swallow–breathe, especially if neurological systems are still integrating or if there has been perinatal stress.
Reflux, comfort sucking and dummy alternatives
Babies with reflux often seek constant sucking because it helps organise the nervous system, stimulate saliva and temporarily reduce oesophageal discomfort. When comfort sucking is almost the only way your baby settles, consider that underlying drivers like aerophagia from shallow latch, oral restrictions, gut immaturity or body tension may be contributing to reflux‑type symptoms.
Alternatives to endless dummy use or breast “all night” comfort feeding include:
Upright baby‑wearing after feeds and contact naps to support motility and reduce regurgitation.
Responsive settling tools such as rocking, swaddling or white noise so sucking is not the only regulation strategy.
Offering a clean finger for short bursts of regulated sucking practice (pad up, nail down) to help tongue elevation and midline control while you work on root causes.
Addressing root causes: body, mouth and nervous system
Supporting the whole system usually works better than simply changing dummies.
Gentle oromotor exercises prescribed by an IBCLC, speech pathologist or occupational therapist can improve tongue cupping, lateralisation, lip seal and jaw stability, all of which help baby hold both breast and dummy more effectively.
Cranial osteopathy and other gentle body work aim to reduce strain patterns through the cranium, neck, diaphragm and pelvis, which may ease compression around cranial nerves involved in sucking and improve comfort in different feeding positions.
Assessment and, when appropriate, treatment of tongue‑tie or lip‑tie (with good pre‑ and post‑release body work and exercises) can significantly change tongue range of motion and sucking efficiency, but should be done within a team‑based plan rather than as a stand‑alone quick fix.
Choosing better dummies/pacifiers for oral function
Not all dummies support oral development in the same way. Dummies that mimic the breast and encourage a wide, deep latch and mid‑tongue elevation (for example rounded, soft silicone designs like the Ninni pacifier) can promote more natural jaw, lip and tongue patterns and act as an oral function training device rather than just a “plug.”
Designs that are very stiff, flat or encourage shallow lip gripping can limit oral motor practice and, with prolonged heavy use, may contribute to altered palate shape, malocclusion and reduced opportunities for free tongue and lip movement, which are important for later speech and feeding skills.
Whatever dummy you choose, a “soothe and remove” approach; using it for settling, then letting it fall out once baby is asleep, helps protect normal tongue‑up resting posture and nasal breathing, which supports healthier craniofacial growth over time.
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The sucking reflex develops in late pregnancy (around 32–36 weeks), so term babies usually arrive with a basic suck in place, while late preterm babies often have a weaker or less coordinated suck at first.
In the first months, sucking is largely reflexive and then gradually becomes more voluntary between about 2–4 months, so “dropping” the dummy is very common while baby is still learning to organise tongue, lips and jaw together. If a baby is otherwise feeding and growing well, frequently losing the dummy in the first 8–12 weeks can be within normal developmental variation, especially when tired, overstimulated or premature.